This May Be Uncomfortable...

I am emotionally exhausted. Every once and a while, I go through an extremely emotional night. I feel for others so much sometimes, that it physically exhausts me. Eventually, I have to stop reading blogs or sign off Facebook so I can't read another story about a father of three that passed away from cancer at 40 or a child that slipped into a neighbor's swimming pool unattended. These are people I have never met, a friend of a friend of a friend. But still, I just cry. Weep is maybe a better word. I get that knot in my throat where it makes it hard to swallow. The tears pool up in my eyes until they fall down my face. Tonight it was an ugly cry that I couldn't keep quiet. I think I get this from my dad who got it from his dad. When I listen to a story, I can't help but put my family in their shoes... What if that was my child? How would I feel if... I am glad I feel for others. I prefer that over the alternative.
Today was Orphan Sunday. I read several blogs and watched a few videos, sending me into a downward spiral of emotion. But it stopped as I read this one blog. This lady hit the nail on the head. So many people wait until they are "called" to make a move. We leave the mission trips to those called to be missionaries. We leave the preaching for the preachers. And don't you dare adopt if you haven't been "called" to do it. But the thing we miss too often if that we are not called, but COMMANDED to do these things. Now, I am aware that I fail miserably everyday. There will be people that read this post and walk away mad or annoyed. I am sorry. Will is probably going to cringe and be nervous the entire time he is reading... sorry, love. I can't help it though. This is life... to care for others. To LOVE others. To encourage each other and do life together. Sit and listen... or talk! Tell people how you feel and what you are going through, even if it is uncomfortable. Not everyone will adopt. I get that. I just ask, that we look closely at what we are commanded to do. Love God. Love people. Whatever it looks like for you. Take care of each other. Don't just talk about God's love, but show it. Teach your children how to love selflessly, by loving selflessly. Leave the legacy of love.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. 

But the greatest of these is love."

 -1 Corinthians 13:13

LOVE, 

Katie

Side Note... We are one step closer! This is our Family Book for the Adoption Agency!!!

Silence in the Wait

Sometimes it's hard to wait. It keeps us quiet. You can't help but let the fear of the unknown outweigh the joy of what we know. Even knowing the outcome will be His perfect plan, we question still. We may be silent on the outside, but screaming on the inside. I've never heard my thoughts so loudly, but say nothing. I just keep reminding myself, things are happening. God is working. He is weaving together the plans for our {not so} perfect family. While we wait, the love grows deeper and stronger. The sweet child God has for us has already altered our lives in more ways than we know. 

So, we wait and we love... 

Give Them Roots

It is astounding to hear that there are about 200 million orphans in the world. That's 200 million hearts, 400 million eyes, 4 BILLION fingers and toes... and God knows every hair on every sweet little head. The amazing part to me is that our baby is one of the 200 million. God knows which one (or eight) will come live under our roof. It may seem like one in 200 million won't make that big of a difference, but that is where you are wrong! That one has infinite possibilities if given the chance. So, my heart and prayer has been to Give Them Roots. Give them a place to call home... Give them LOVE. We are so excited for the day we bring our baby home, but until then, we pray for the 200 million, because ours is one of them. 

We are selling t-shirts to help with the cost of our adoption. The cost is $20. They are white, concert tees (light weight, more of a retail feel) with navy writing. They are preshrunk, 100% cotton, and true to size. The shirt may shrink a little after washing. If you are interested in ordering a shirt, you can leave me a comment or send me a message on facebook. 

As always, thank you for your love and support. We covet your prayers!!!

Cleaning... Part of the Process

Spoiler Alert: I am not the cleanest person in the world. But the past week and a half, you could eat off the floor. This is a HUGE feat for me! It's all because of our home study (and a baby shower!). I feel like I have turned a corner. I want our house to be this clean all the time. I LOVE it! I think Lyndsey and Vanessa should just make weekly visits... 1. Because I like them. 2. Because my house is clean :)

It's scary thinking about someone coming to your house, looking through your closets, and asking you questions. It's not that we have anything to hide, but it's the unknown. What will they ask? Is my house safe or up to their standards? Should I have swept one more time? Even though I knew it was going to be okay, there is still a small part that says "But what if it's not good enough?" I think it's just human nature. We worry. Even when we try not to, we worry about worrying. 

And then I felt silly about worrying. I should have known we were in great hands. Lyndsey and Vanessa were amazing. I am so excited God led us to 200 Million Flowers. They made what was a scary, unfamiliar process, into an easy and fun day. Will drank WAY too much coffee that morning, so they got all the info and then some out of him. They walked around the house, opened doors, gave compliments, asked questions... They didn't criticize or look for reasons to fail us. The thing is, they WANT us to get our baby. They want to help us in any way possible. They want to stay in touch and watch our family grow. 

The reason I am writing a blog is to help someone out there that is going through the same process. I want you to be informed about what happens next. If you are staying up to all hours of the night, cleaning, organizing and sanitizing... good. Keep doing what you are doing. Just know that there is a reason and you shouldn't worry. As long as you do your part, God will take care of the rest. Be encouraged... know that the social workers LOVE the children they are placing and that is what drives them to do a good job. But they also love you and want the best for you! 

We signed up with 200 Million Flowers on January 22. Lyndsey is writing our Home Study this week! We still have a few things left on our checklist that haven't been returned, but we are so very close to the next phase... getting on the list! 

Thank you for reading our story... I'll post again soon (I hope!)

-Katie

Today is a Good Day!

I know it has been several days (weeks?) since my last post. Honestly, there was nothing to write about... BUT today has been a very good day. We took our paperwork to 200 Million Flowers in Fondren to begin the Home Study process! I could not be more thrilled with the agency!!! Vanessa and Lyndsey are great! I am so excited to walk with them in this journey. They have completely calmed my nerves and answered our crazy questions without even having an official meeting set-up. If today was any indication on how our home study will go, I can not wait! I am so thankful for them already.
We are excited to take this first step toward bringing our baby home! Please continue to pray for us as we start all of the paper work, background checks, medical check-ups... and anything else we will have to do! I know this will be a growing experience, but I think we are (finally) ready.
I can hardly wait until the day we post about bringing our sweet baby home! Thank you for your support and prayers!

Love you all!
Katie

Here is a link to 200 Million Flowers facebook page. Go check them out if you are looking for an agency!

Russia

My heart is sad. Sad for Russia. Sad for the 46 families that already knew and loved their Russian babies. Mostly, I am sad for the children... for the thousands of little ones that will spend their childhood in an orphanage because of the selfish, senseless acts of a horrific man. My prayer is that he will change his mind. That something inside him will feel the slightest bit of sadness too.
Several people have asked what this means for us. Fortunately, God always has a plan. It is amazing to look back over the past few months and see why our life has taken certain turns. I refuse to believe in coincidence. I stand firm on the belief that He who molds our future, holds our future.
This has already been one of the most stretching situations of my life. We have been planning, talking, praying, and researching for almost a year now. I never thought it would take this long... this wasn't MY plan. As I have realized recently, my plan is not always the one that is right. Shocking, I know.
It hit me the other day why this has been so challenging. I had this picture in my head of what our family should look like. The addition of a blue eyed, blond haired boy form Russia that was around 2 years old (basically Levi, but Russian). I kept thinking about how amazing it would be for Levi to grow up with a brother close in age. I was trying to make it comfortable and familiar for everyone. But adoption is not comfortable. It can be messy, draining and emotional... but in the end, you have an amazing, life changing gift. No matter the age, skin color, or background, at the end of the day, you are left with an inspiring blessing.
So, I'm not sure where this leaves us. We are now talking about domestic adoption. We will still start our home study this month. Be praying for that. I am not sure what to expect, but I am excited to get the ball rolling! Thank you to those of you that thought of our family. I am so incredibly encouraged and thankful that we were protected from what could have been a very sad situation. I will try to keep you updated as we progress in bringing home baby Jones (whoever, wherever, whenever that may be).