My heart is sad. Sad for Russia. Sad for the 46 families that already knew and loved their Russian babies. Mostly, I am sad for the children... for the thousands of little ones that will spend their childhood in an orphanage because of the selfish, senseless acts of a horrific man. My prayer is that he will change his mind. That something inside him will feel the slightest bit of sadness too.
Several people have asked what this means for us. Fortunately, God always has a plan. It is amazing to look back over the past few months and see why our life has taken certain turns. I refuse to believe in coincidence. I stand firm on the belief that He who molds our future, holds our future.
This has already been one of the most stretching situations of my life. We have been planning, talking, praying, and researching for almost a year now. I never thought it would take this long... this wasn't MY plan. As I have realized recently, my plan is not always the one that is right. Shocking, I know.
It hit me the other day why this has been so challenging. I had this picture in my head of what our family should look like. The addition of a blue eyed, blond haired boy form Russia that was around 2 years old (basically Levi, but Russian). I kept thinking about how amazing it would be for Levi to grow up with a brother close in age. I was trying to make it comfortable and familiar for everyone. But adoption is not comfortable. It can be messy, draining and emotional... but in the end, you have an amazing, life changing gift. No matter the age, skin color, or background, at the end of the day, you are left with an inspiring blessing.
So, I'm not sure where this leaves us. We are now talking about domestic adoption. We will still start our home study this month. Be praying for that. I am not sure what to expect, but I am excited to get the ball rolling! Thank you to those of you that thought of our family. I am so incredibly encouraged and thankful that we were protected from what could have been a very sad situation. I will try to keep you updated as we progress in bringing home baby Jones (whoever, wherever, whenever that may be).